Let me tell you about the lie we're all sold: "Potty train your toddler in 3 days!"

Spoiler alert: That's not how this works for most kids.

Here's the real, messy truth about potty training.

The "3-Day Method" Reality Check

Yes, I tried it. With both kids.

What actually happened:

Day 1: 8 accidents, zero successes. So much laundry.

Day 2: 6 accidents, 2 successful pees. Hope begins.

Day 3: Still accidents. Still cleaning carpets. Still questioning everything.

Day 4-30: Gradual improvement with setbacks.

Day 31-90: Finally getting it... mostly.

Three days? Try three MONTHS.

When to Start (Not When Pinterest Says)

Signs of readiness:

  • Stays dry for 2+ hours
  • Tells you when diaper is dirty
  • Shows interest in the potty
  • Can pull pants up and down
  • Understands simple instructions

    • NOT signs of readiness:

  • They're 2 years old (age doesn't equal readiness)
  • Their cousin is trained (comparison is theft of joy)
  • Preschool requires it (some schools are flexible)
  • You're sick of diapers (we all are, but that's not their problem)

    • My oldest: Trained at 3.5 years My youngest: Trained at 2.5 years

    Both were ready when THEY were ready.

    What Actually Worked

    1. Naked Time

    Let them run around bottomless at home.

    They can SEE what's happening. They make the connection faster.

    Reality check: Have towels everywhere. Expect accidents. Don't do this on carpet.

    2. Underwear, Not Pull-Ups

    Pull-ups feel like diapers. Kids treat them like diapers.

    Underwear feels wet. They don't like it. They learn faster.

    Exception: Nighttime. Use overnight pull-ups until they're waking up dry consistently.

    3. Potty Watch

    Set a timer for every 30-60 minutes.

    "It's potty time! Let's try!"

    Even if they say no, make them sit for 30 seconds.

    Boring? Yes. Effective? Also yes.

    4. Rewards (Bribes Work)

    Call it what you want. I call it positive reinforcement.

    What worked for us:

  • Sticker chart
  • One M&M for pee, two for poop
  • Special "potty song" and dance
  • High fives and excessive praise

    • 5. Make It Easy

  • Potty in every bathroom
  • Step stool so they can reach
  • Easy-off pants (no buttons or overalls)
  • Books or toys next to the potty

    • The easier it is, the more likely they'll use it.

    The Stages Nobody Warns You About

    Stage 1: Awareness (Weeks 1-2)

    They pee, then tell you they peed.

    "Thanks for letting me know... I guess?"

    Progress? Technically.

    Stage 2: During (Weeks 2-4)

    They pee, realize mid-stream, and run to the potty.

    Trail of pee across the house. But they're trying!

    Stage 3: Right Before (Weeks 4-8)

    They tell you they need to go... sometimes.

    50% success rate. You're living on the edge.

    Stage 4: Asking Before (Weeks 8-12+)

    They tell you BEFORE they need to go.

    Praise the heavens. We've made it.

    Stage 5: Fully Trained (Months 3-6+)

    They go on their own. Minimal accidents.

    You've forgotten what diapers feel like.

    Accidents Are Part of the Process

    My daughter peed on the floor, in the car, at Target, and at grandma's house.

    All in the same week.

    Accident dos:

  • Stay calm (they're learning)
  • Clean it up together
  • Remind them where pee goes
  • Try again

    • Accident don'ts:

  • Punish or shame
  • Give up and go back to diapers (unless they're truly not ready)
  • Make a big deal of it

    • Accidents decrease with time. I promise.

    Poop Is Harder

    Why is poop SO much harder than pee?

    Nobody knows. It's one of life's great mysteries.

    Common issues:

  • They'll pee in the potty but demand a diaper for poop
  • They hold it for DAYS (hello, constipation)
  • They hide to poop in their pants

    • What helped:

  • Reading books on the potty (it takes time)
  • Making it no big deal
  • Fiber gummies to keep things moving
  • Waiting for them to be ready (this can take MONTHS after pee training)

    • My oldest refused to poop on the potty for 3 months. Then one day, she just did it.

    Regression Is Normal

    Trained for 2 months? Great!

    Then suddenly accidents again.

    Common regression triggers:

  • New baby
  • Moving
  • Starting preschool
  • Travel
  • Illness
  • Just because (toddlers, man)

    • Don't panic. Go back to basics. It's temporary.

    Nighttime Takes Longer

    Daytime training ≠ nighttime training.

    Staying dry at night is a physical development thing. Their bladder needs to mature.

    What we did:

  • Pull-ups at night until waking up dry consistently
  • No drinks 1 hour before bed
  • Potty right before bed
  • Mattress protector (essential)

    • My oldest was nighttime trained at 4.5 years. My youngest at 3 years.

    Both totally normal.

    What Doesn't Work (For Most Kids)

    Forcing it when they're not ready: Leads to power struggles and setbacks.

    Punishment: Makes them anxious and delays progress.

    Comparison: Your kid is not their kid. Different timelines are normal.

    Giving up after one bad day: It takes time. Bad days happen.

    Real Talk From the Trenches

    Potty training is HARD.

    It's messy. It's frustrating. It tests your patience.

    Some days you'll want to go back to diapers. Some days they'll have 5 accidents before noon.

    That's normal.

    Things that kept me sane:

  • Wine (after bedtime)
  • Commiserating with other moms
  • Reminding myself that no one goes to college in diapers
  • Taking breaks when needed

    • When to Throw in the Towel (Temporarily)

    If after 2 weeks you're seeing:

  • No progress at all
  • Increased anxiety in your child
  • Power struggles
  • Total resistance

PAUSE.

Wait a month. Try again.

There's no shame in saying "not yet."

The Truth

Some kids train in a week. Some take 6 months.

Some are daytime trained at 2. Some aren't ready until 3.5.

All of these are NORMAL.

Potty training isn't a race. It's not a reflection of your parenting.

It's just... hard.

You've Got This

One day (I promise), you'll realize it's been a week with no accidents.

Then a month.

Then you'll forget they were ever in diapers.

It happens. Eventually.

Where are you in the potty training journey? Let's survive this together! đźš˝