I thought I was just tired.

Turns out, I was burnt out.

And there's a difference.

Tired vs. Burnt Out

Tired: A good night's sleep helps.

Burnt Out: Sleep doesn't fix it. Nothing feels enjoyable. You're running on empty.

I spent months thinking "I just need to sleep better." But the problem was bigger than that.

Here's how to tell the difference.

Sign #1: You Don't Want to Do Anything

Even things you usually enjoy sound exhausting.

Reading? Too much effort. Watching TV? Can't focus. Seeing friends? Rather stay home.

When EVERYTHING feels like too much, that's not just tired.

My experience:

I used to love reading. During burnout, I'd open a book and stare at the words without reading.

I'd scroll my phone for hours because it required zero brain power.

Nothing brought me joy.

Sign #2: You're Irritable All the Time

Your toddler asks for a snack? You snap.

Your partner asks a simple question? Annoyed.

Kids being loud? Rage.

It's not that you're a bad mom. You're burnt out.

I yelled more. I cried more. I had zero patience.

My fuse was non-existent.

Everything felt like an emergency.

Sign #3: You're Exhausted But Can't Sleep

You're SO tired. You finally get to bed.

And... you can't shut your brain off.

You lie awake thinking about:

  • Everything you didn't get done
  • Everything you need to do tomorrow
  • That thing you said 3 years ago

    • Or you fall asleep fine but wake up at 3am with racing thoughts.

    Burnout makes your body forget how to rest.

    Sign #4: You're Just Going Through the Motions

    Feed kids. Change diapers. Clean up. Repeat.

    You're doing all the things. But you feel nothing.

    Like you're watching yourself from outside your body.

    This is called "emotional exhaustion."

    You're physically there but emotionally checked out.

    I'd be playing with my kids and thinking "I should be enjoying this." But I felt... nothing.

    Just numb.

    Sign #5: You Can't Remember the Last Time You Did Something for Yourself

    When was the last time you:

  • Read a book?
  • Took a bath?
  • Had a hobby?
  • Saw friends?
  • Did anything that wasn't for your kids or house?

    • If the answer is "I don't remember," you're burnt out.

    Martyrdom isn't motherhood.

    Why This Happens

    Burnout doesn't happen overnight.

    It builds over time:

    The mental load: You're in charge of everything. Appointments, meals, schedules, supplies. Even when someone "helps," you still had to ask.

    The invisible work: Planning, organizing, remembering, coordinating. No one sees it. No one thanks you for it.

    No breaks: Even when you're "off," you're on call. Sick kids, bad dreams, "Mom, where's my...?"

    Guilt: You feel guilty for being tired. Guilty for wanting a break. Guilty for not enjoying every moment.

    No one asks if YOU'RE okay: Everyone asks about the kids. No one asks about you.

    Add it all up = burnout.

    What Actually Helps

    1. Name It

    Say it out loud: "I'm burnt out."

    Not dramatic. Not weak. Just honest.

    Tell your partner. Tell a friend. Tell your doctor.

    Naming it is the first step.

    2. Get Sleep (Seriously)

    I know, easier said than done.

    But lack of sleep makes everything worse.

    What helped me:

  • Partner took the early morning shift on weekends
  • I went to bed at 8:30pm (no shame)
  • Stopped doomscrolling in bed

    • Sleep won't fix burnout by itself. But it helps you function.

    3. Ask for Specific Help

    Don't say "I need help." People don't know what to do with that.

    Say: "Can you pick up the kids Tuesday?" "Can you make dinner tonight?" "Can you handle bathtime?"

    Be specific. People want to help. They don't know how.

    4. Do ONE Small Thing for Yourself Daily

    Not a spa day. Not a vacation.

    One small thing:

  • 10-minute walk
  • Morning coffee before anyone wakes up
  • Shower without an audience
  • Read for 15 minutes

    • Small things add up.

    5. Let Go of Something

    You can't do it all. Stop trying.

    Things I stopped doing:

  • Making Pinterest-worthy meals
  • Keeping the house perfectly clean
  • Being "on" all the time
  • Feeling guilty about screen time

    • Choose your hard: Burnout or a messy house?

    I chose messy house.

    6. Talk to Someone

    Burnout isn't something you should push through alone.

    Talk to:

  • Your doctor (burnout can look like depression)
  • A therapist (if you can access one)
  • Other moms who get it

    • This isn't weakness. It's wisdom.

    7. Consider Changes

    Sometimes burnout means something needs to actually change:

  • Can your partner take on more?
  • Can you adjust work hours?
  • Can you get childcare help?
  • Can you say no to commitments?

    • Big changes are scary. But staying burnt out is worse.

    What Didn't Help

    "Self-care" advice that costs money: Face masks don't fix burnout.

    People saying "enjoy every moment": I CAN'T. I'M BURNT OUT.

    Comparing to other moms: They're probably burnt out too.

    Pushing through: You can't willpower your way out of burnout.

    My Recovery

    It took months.

    Not a quick fix. Not a weekend getaway.

    Small changes over time:

  • Partner took morning duty on weekends
  • I started therapy
  • I let go of keeping the house perfect
  • I started saying no to things
  • I asked for help

Slowly, I started feeling like myself again.

The Truth About Mom Burnout

It's not a personal failing.

It's what happens when you give and give and give with no time to refill your cup.

You can't pour from an empty cup. (I hate that cliche, but it's true.)

Taking care of yourself isn't selfish. It's necessary.

You can be a good mom and also be burnt out. These things can exist at the same time.

If You're There Now

I see you.

Running on empty, feeling guilty for feeling bad, wondering if this is just how it is now.

It's not.

You deserve to feel like yourself again.

Start small. Ask for help. Be honest.

You're not failing. You're human.

Have you experienced mom burnout? What helped you? đź’•